Birth story – Part I – Build up of events leading to labor

Nikki (then Nandhan) was due on January 10 2007 (by 6th week ultrasound), actually it should have been January 7 according to my BBT chart. He was expected to arrive a little bit early because I had extremely bad PUPPS during the last 2 months of my pregnancy and his head had engaged 7 weeks before his due date. My bump was very heavy by 8 months itself.

We had an ultrasound at 36 weeks because I had gained only about 1.5 pounds between months 6 to 8 and the doctor was worried about the baby (I gained about 22 pounds in my whole pregnancy). It was found that the baby was indeed BIG, he was already 7 ½ pounds at 36 weeks. I had a suspicion that the baby would be big because my 1 hour glucose levels were high during the 1 hour GT, I had to go in for the 3 hour test which turned out to be normal. (Out of the 4 readings 3 were normal, again the 1 hour level was high). After doing the internal exam, doctor announced that my cervix feels soft and it has started ripening, which means my body is getting ready for labor.

I was happy thinking of the prospects of going into labor soon, at the same time worrying it should go well. It felt like somebody had tied a big rock to my tummy, almost everybody looking at me were asking me if I was already due. If I sat, it will land itself between my legs, turning sides during sleep was a pain, I had to hold my belly with hands, lift it along with my body in order to turn sides or to get up from sleep. 4 trips to the toilet every night, un-controllable itching/scratching, wrist pain so bad that I could not even hold the plate while eating, as much as I loved the baby, I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to wait until 37 weeks and no more.

Well, the 37th week checkup gave some good news. I was 3 cms dilated!!! I came home elated, finished packing my half-packed hospital bag thinking I would be going into labor that night. We left for Kohls to do some last minute shopping for winter clothes for my mom. During the visit to the restroom there I lost my mucus plug, a very big thick brownish red mass of mucus. Rushed home immediately and called my OB/GYN to ask her if I have to come in. She asked me to come in only if I start having regular pains. I was walking, walking and walking and even thought of trying romantic ways of kick-starting labor but nothing seemed to work. Not even a slightest hint of any kind of pain. Other than the itching/scratching(which was well controlled by 37 weeks), extremely bad sciatica, carpal tunnel syndrome and feeling heavy, I was physically very much active. I was spotting little bit every now and then, raising my hopes whenever it happened. Everyday I would be dreaming of labor, how would it start for me? Will my water break first? Will I have slowly progressing pains for couple of days? Will I end-up having c-section because the baby is big? Will I have to go through induction? All kinds of possibilities that were discussed in the antenatal classes would run through my mind.

Came the 38th week checkup. I was probably 3.5 cms dilated (I don’t know how they come up with that .5 cm accuracy) was the finding. And I had gained 2 pounds in 1 week! Mom was stuffing me with all the goodies ever since she came from India (she came by the end of 36th week). I expressed my concern of the baby getting bigger(macrosomia) and the doctor was worried too. She sensed my impatience and told me she cannot and will not induce me before at least 39 weeks. She gave me the option of waiting until 40 weeks or starting me on pitocin at 39 weeks. I was so confused. I baddddddly wanted to go the natural way, without any interference other than epidural and that too only if I absolutely cannot bear the pain anymore. I scheduled the induction for January 2nd (39th week completes and 40th week starts) and came back from the doctor’s office in such a confused state of mind. I actually was not comfortable going for induction, I scheduled the appointment thinking I would cancel it after thinking about it for a few days. That was not a decision that can be made within those few minutes that we were at the doctor’s office.

The ensuing week was the most arduous time in the whole of my pregnancy. I was NOT AT ALL comfortable going in for induction, my ideal birth plan was to go the natural way, resorting to epidural itself was reserved to extremely excruciating pain. But the thoughts of a BIG baby maneuvering his way through the birth canal running the risk of shoulder dystocia, birth trauma causing head injuries, me running the risk of c-section, 4th degree tears, hemorrhage and all the other risks that come along with a big baby were weighing very heavily on my mind. DH and mom and left it to me to decide, “whatever you think you will be comfortable with”.

Every waking second, I was completely obsessed and possessed by thoughts of labor. What if I decide to go in for induction and the baby actually turns out to be smaller than predicted? I would regret pushing things on my own, when the baby could have easily gained weight inside his safe haven. Worst, I may end up going in for c-section for a small baby. Ultrasounds are only plus or minus 1 pound accurate. I had even heard about cases where the baby was measured at 9 pounds and the mommy decided to go in for c-section and finally the baby turning out to be 6 pounds. I would freak out thinking of both plus and minus cases. Going exactly by the ultrasound, the baby will be close to 10 pounds at 40 weeks (gaining 1/2 pound a week). Plus case would be a abnormally BIG baby, minus case would be a slightly bigger baby (around 8 pounds) and extremely minus case will be a small baby. Hmm. I was going mad. Something was telling me that the baby would be BIG. I don’t know if it was my eternally worrying mind which always worries about the worst case scenarios or if it was my high 1 hour glucose levels or just simply intuition. What difference will 1 week make to baby’s weight? Why don’t I wait until 40 weeks? The baby might gain probably ½ pound to 3/4th of a pound extra. I did not know then how much difference it will make during the pushing stage. Will induction help kick start labor naturally because I was already 3.5 cms dilated (which means my body is almost ready for labor)? I am thinking all this only because I have options, so why I don’t I wait until nature take it’s own course? But not when I can exercise my choice for the well being of my baby and me. I am such a P.O.O.R. decision maker, I cannot even decide on a restaurant for dinner. I being entrusted with such a significant decision involving 2 lives, how can I? I really felt so inadequate and pathetic.

Since everyone knew that Nikki might come a little early, I would get at least 3-4 calls everyday asking why we are still not at the hospital, not to mention the inquisitive aunties and complete strangers ranging from mail man to passers-by making their “know-it-all” comments. “Looks like the baby will pop out anytime”, “Your tummy is so low, you will deliver anytime”, “It is soooo BIGGG, are you having twins?”, “are you sure you are not having labor pains yet? Drink that kashaayam, false pains will fade off”, “You / your belly looks abc, so xyz will happen”. I hated going out and when I did go out for a walk, I avoided seeing faces. Going for shopping everyday was the only relief, it was therapeutic. Even there I would encounter people who enjoyed passing comments about me (my belly).

It was the New Year’s day in 2007, I and DH went for a walk to Burlington Mall (our walking trail during winter months). I was so disappointed that the baby did not come during December (my birth month, I share the month with both my siblings and a couple of friends). I was at least hoping he would come on January 1st by popular demand. Uhumm. This guy had his own plans we thought. Somehow 1 week passed and I had almost(80%, I doubt if I ever made any decision with 100% commitment) made up my mind to call off the appointment the next day morning, and wait for nature to take it’s own course. I was actually afraid to make such a momentous decision. After walking for about an hour, we decided to go home. We came home by 10 pm, exhausted I did not even feel like having my bedtime snack and went to sleep.

It was 3 AM, felt some pulling sensation, I was confused if it was the urge to pee or poop, whatever I thought and got down from bed. Just when my second leg landed on the floor and I stood straight, I felt something snap around my perineal area and a gush of water came down like somebody broke a pot full of water. I was so relieved, in fact elated, at last my water broke and I shouted at DH “get up get up let us rush to the hospital”. Amniotic fluid was pouring all the way (just 10 steps) from the bed until I reached the bathroom. It kept pouring and pouring while I changed and spoke to the doctor. It was such a huge relief when the doctor asked me get to the hospital. At last, FINALLY, after losing the mucus plug and walking around with 3 cm dilation for 2 weeks, just 6 hours before my scheduled induction, GODS opened their eyes and nature took charge.